Phatgurllove's Poem of the Day

Overcoming fear and anxiety

So, I have been sitting around here and peeping into others blogospheres seeing what's going on in everyone else's life. I have hit the place where fear and anxiety are starting to dance around in my little Ole head. "What if I never get to do another Spoken Word Performance?" "What if I really don't make it?" "What if I never succeed in what I'm trying to do?" In times like this, I used to run for food and stuff myself silly so that I would feel "better" about whatever it was that is bothering me. Now that is not an option, so I must consider what it is that I am afraid of. Let's say it together and loud so that everyone can hear you boys and girls.."F-A-I-L-U-R-E." That's right failure.

I must see this through. This is something that must take place and it's also something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I have been working on about 5 pieces at once to add to the book and to perform. The only issue that I have been experiencing now is going to another event to perform. They are not on my schedule, which has also made me realize that there may be a need for a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night Spoken Word Gathering that will allow you to release all weekend and be ready to start all over again on Monday. Phatgurllove Productions Inc, Phat Cipher, Phatgurllove Jones....hmmm I think I might like that.

I have signed up for a Blog talk Radio station. Im trying to figure out what I want to do with it. I know, but I want to have all my ducks in a row first. I want to incorporate Neo-soul, R&B, and Ol Skool with some Spoken word in between from a few local artist and some that call in. That's about it. No hot topics or current events, this would be strictly music and words...vice-versa. But back to my main concern.....I have struggled so long to be accepted at times it still follows me. I accept myself and that's all that matters. The words that I write and speak come from the heart and that's all that matters. If you can relate to me then we both share a common bond through these words. If you have never been there, then take a minute to back track and catch up to where I have arrived to thus far. I am going to accomplish my goals. I am not going to fight myself for this battle. So far, I've already won. ~Phatgurllove~

You know I had to incorporate the Ph..it wouldn't be Phatabulous without it! I am being featured ya'll! My first time being fe..I mean..pheatured!~smile~ Ms. Yvette Noel, founder of UdoU clothing line is going to "feature" one of my works on her blog. I am so glad that she found my work to be inspiring! Checkout her line it's HAWT!www.udouclothing.comHere is what she had to say:

"We don't know each other but I was drawn to your words. I am now in the process of working on my blog and I wanted to know if I could feature one of your written works on my blog."

How Phatabulous is that!? I just want to say thank you to all of my subscribers, followers, stalkers or whatever your self proclaimed title is~lol Thank you for taking the time to read my work! You are appreciated!

RHYME & REASON Spoken Word Poetry Documentary

Saturday Night~Metro Cafe and Lounge

SPOKEN WORD
Generated From Noolmusic.com


I am still high from Saturday night! It felt so good to be around like-minded individuals. I performed my two poems. One entitled "The Intruder" and the other entitled "Sometimes" The audience response and feedback was amazing. The energy was so unreal! I can't even begin to describe how it felt to share my work! I am so excited at the possibilities. I provided sample Cd's to some individuals that contained 5 of my poems, including the two that were performed. I would like for it to be more professional and add some effects to it. But it was recorded in raw form. I also passed out some cards that I made until mine are ready, informing others that I am a Motivational Speaker, Author and a Spoken Word Artist. I need to do a press release. But all in all I am so ready for the next event. I need to get more exposure. The others that performed on Saturday night were simply phenomenal! Tamika Nicole Performed...she was awesome! I will add more information on the other artist and I will also post pics from the event.

Can Reading Help Kids Lose Weight?

I saw this article and I immediately wanted to share it. I read alot as a child. Not sure if I ever lost any weight from it. I wonder if it will work now?? (lol)


Can Reading Help Kids Lose Weight?

The Renewal

Waking from a deep sleep feeling deprived not from the lack of sleep but from you. Your voice penetrating my thoughts as I remember why I loved you from the jump. Not realizing that I would now be reminiscing on what we had in the beginning and how now I want to relive that moment again. From the time we said hello, to the first time we held hands, to the first kiss. I want that now and again. A mutual agreement between us that was only seen by God and a multitude of individuals who not only believed in the blessed union, but they believed in us. What happened? Did we stop believing in each other, did we become entangled in finances, too engaged with our child, too focused on work, and not enough time to spend with each other? Loving and being loved. What happened? Falling in and out of love....just out....Coldness on the left side of the bed where you slept...my heart cried thinking of how I needed you to be with me...in me...just around me....

I'm thinking the same thing he doesn't know it...our minds intertwined as one...the way it should be forever joined. Not because we have a son, because we were meant to be...even apart we share one heart... our own, meant to be in one home....feeling alone...needing, craving, remembering. Was it that bad enough to leave? Tears on my sleeve... the right side of my bed cold, where he used to snore, where we made love galore...love don't live here anymore or does it? Wasn't it I that said I don't need it? Wasn't him that said forget it? I can't I remember, in December I saw you with another lover, not your mother, cousin, sister or friend. Some chick named Lynn. Unfaithful, debatable but true...You used me and I used you. I miss you now, my heart still in sync with yours. I'm on my way over we need to talk.


Getting up picking up my keys after praying, having that mental release, I pray for an answer. Opening the door there she stood....I prayed and God made it good. We were both misunderstood, we talked for hours about where we should be and how it was not her but me and how I was relieved to see her hear and I was glad to have her near and that I missed her. She leaned into me and said she missed me too, we even had time to send our son off to school so that we can be alone in our home to become one something we shoulda done before. We made love galore and we were restored.

Adding to my repertoire....

Motivational speaker maybe......hmmmmm??!! Something that has been on my mind for the last two days. It must be a part of the bigger picture. I am jotting down notes. Watch out now ya'll...Phatgurllove is expanding her skills and ready for anything! I've always wanted to mentor young kids. I believe with every fiber of my being that what I am working on right now, has something to do with that. I believe it will all work together. Also thinking about documentaries. It's so much brainstorming going on right now and I am so excited about it. This is a dream realized, everything that is happening right now and I am enjoying every minute of it.

The Transition

On this road to somewhere, where to I don't know. I must go. I can't stop moving. The changes within me are pushing me forward. Onward...continuously. This transition, changing moving with the time allotted for me to accomplish what I must complete in this time frame, this lifetime. I feel so free to be me while moving effortlessly through it. Through the pain, through the heartache, through the loss of loved ones, through the hard times, through the good times, through the weight gain, through weightloss and on to the breakthrough. Movement, transition, journey. A metamorphosis, transforming and adapting to myself. Realizing I gotta push through past the particles of my old life and be rebirthed into my new life. A new me, a happier me. Someone that has been transformed by taking the road less traveled and following my soul along the way.

Saturday Love

Today I went to the anniversary party of a friend of mine that I worked with at another company. It was her and her husbands 25th Anniversary. I was so happy for them. I'd remembered all of the conversations we had about her husband and how she was hoping for him to pass a certification test so that he could get into the career field of his choice. I watched them today. You can tell that 25 years grew on them and that they grew with it. I watched her family and how they all interacted with each other and I secretly hoped that I and Phatman's marriage will last that long. We've only been married for a short time, but I hope that things get to the place where we can like that. Just like a graceful ballet. He lifts me as I jump high and I rub his face and encourage and sing his praises.