Barack Obama Wins! Victory Speech 11/4/08 US President 1 of 3

I can't even describe how I felt. There were tears. I looked at my 5mth old son and I knew that he could be president. Realistically. I never thought in my 32 years of living that I would even see this day! I am ready for change and apparently so is everyone else.

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I'm back....

Ok, so I've been mia for a while. I've just been getting adjusted to being a new mom while fighting to save my marriage. I have to tell ya'll. It didn't look to good for a minute. I thought I was gonna hafta catch a charge. I don't know what it is. There are somethings that really irk me about Phatman. I'm not gonna put him out there like that but I think that we may be on the right path. We've only been married for 1 yr and 9 mths. (We've been together for almost 12 years!) Marriage is definently a job. I'm learning that....add a newborn and it's chaos. I think that Phatman was/is jealous of the baby. I was heated about it at first Until I learned that it is to be expected. So, how has everyone else been? Anything new? Can you believe that Phatbaby will be 4 months old on Saturday! Boy time flies. Well I just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive and YES, we're still together.

Black In America Trailer

CNN Black In America Trailer.

If you did not watch it, PLEASE DO! It is very important that WE look and see what this has to say about being black in America. It was very intriguing. I was dumbfounded by what was said and what I heard. Part 2 Black Men in America Airs tonight on CNN @ 9 est. Please check it out. I am posting the trailer as well.

Ok, that was my PSA of the day. Now as far as me and Phathubby...things are not better and in my opinion they are getting worse. Maybe it's just me. I dunno. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. Where are all of my married people? Please give me some advice...anything.... As far as Phatbaby...he is just that Phat...LOL. He now weighs 10lbs 15oz and he turned 2mths old on the 20th of this mth. That went by fast. He is such a good baby! I have now been employed for 1yr .....at the same place. ~Standing ovation pls~ Thank you! Now that is history in the making. Its sad to say that I have been here for a year. I'm looking for longevity...just not in the customer service field. For Godsake I have a degree, a BS in Management. I need something or someone to Manage for more money! ~sigh~ Can a sister get a career and not a job? Dang....Well, I guess that's enough for now. Sorry been so slow to post....once I can stop arguing with phathubby and bouncing phatbaby....I try to get in where I fit in and that's at work...LOL. I mean I do want longevity but it has to have its perks right? Or you just create your own perks. LOL Take care!

Cnn Black in America

If you did not watch it, PLEASE DO! It is very important that WE look and see what this has to say about being black in America. It was very intriguing. I was dumbfounded by what was said and what I heard. Part 2 Black Men in America Airs tonight on CNN @ 9 est. Please check it out. I am posting the trailer as well.

Ok, that was my PSA of the day. Now as far as me and Phathubby...things are not better and in my opinion they are getting worse. Maybe it's just me. I dunno. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. Where are all of my married people? Please give me some advice...anything.... As far as Phatbaby...he is just that Phat...LOL. He now weighs 10lbs 15oz and he turned 2mths old on the 20th of this mth. That went by fast. He is such a good baby! I have now been employed for 1yr .....at the same place. ~Standing ovation pls~ Thank you! Now that is history in the making. Its sad to say that I have been here for a year. I'm looking for longevity...just not in the customer service field. For Godsake I have a degree, a BS in Management. I need something or someone to Manage for more money! ~sigh~ Can a sister get a career and not a job? Dang....Well, I guess that's enough for now. Sorry been so slow to post....once I can stop arguing with phathubby and bouncing phatbaby....I try to get in where I fit in and that's at work...LOL. I mean I do want longevity but it has to have its perks right? Or you just create your own perks. LOL Take care!

Thinking things through

Hey ya'll, I know that's it's been a while, I just needed to talk. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband but it hurts to know that things can always go the way we want them too. I have been contemplating some mean vindictive shit over the last few weeks...but what will that accomplish. Nothing...what will that solve? Nothing....how will that make me feel?....Temporarily relieved.....but still hurting. I think that I have allowed myself to believe that things will get better and I am praying so hard....I don't wanna leave him. Sometimes I hear other women say...."Sometimes in order to prove a point, you hafta leave." But again for what? People complain all of the time about their spouses and yet they still stay together but the swear up and down that if it were them how they would be out in the street doing whatever with whoever. I don't have time for that. I married my husband for better or for worse. Its just not a happy time right now for either one of us. I just wish my husband can see himself the way I do. He knows that I find him hella sexy and he tells me that he sees me the same way. I expect so much out of him than he is willing to give. I feel like I have made sacrifice after sacrifice to make it work and he just says "Well ya married me and this is how I was before you met me so now what just deal with it." It's not about how you were but it's now about is this how YOU want to be. We can all be better than what we used to be. Right!? I just want things to work out. I know problems can't resolve themselves and we must face them head on and with our eyes open. I just wish we could look through each others eyes maybe walk in each other's shoes so that we can see what's really going on. I am going to try and talk it out. But how much talking and compromising can you do in a marriage without becoming bitter or resentful? We now have another person to consider and we both love him soooooo much. I hope we can talk it out like two mature adults and see where things go from there.

Marital Woes

Lemme just start off by saying, I am tired of being sick and tired. Ya digg? I just can't continue to put myself at the bottom anymore. The more I give, the more he takes. We have been married for a year and 7mths. We were in a relationship for 10 years before we got married. Why didn't I listen to myself and to phatmom? Why , why, why??? I need to get out now! I just can't take it anymore. Even after a new baby, yes...I need for ya'll to understand that just because you have a baby doesn't been you should sacrifice your sanity. I just don't know what else to do. Why do I always have to bend or be the one to say ok let's talk or try to work it out? Its only so much working out and working on you can do. I am so afraid of what people might say and what his family may say about me. I shouldn't stay where I'm not happy. Pray for me ya'll.

OH Hell Naw'll

Why Lawd? Some things you just hafta put into Gods hands. Ok so this weekend after giving my beautiful son a bath, the BM calls? What does BM stand for you ask....The Birthmother..."Oh no she didn't!" "Yes, she did!" She called in the middle of getting phatbaby dressed. He doesn't like the process, so he was protesting when she called. She ask, "What's wrong with him?" "I look at the phone like "Why?" Then I proceed to tell her, "Phatbaby just had a bath and I'm getting him dressed." "O." Was her response. Waymin, was she thinking otherwise...?? I dunno, but I sensed that. BM went on to tell me how they will be down here this weekend. Our first together...I am already peeved about that. I asked her how long they were going to be here....she states that she doesn't know but she was excited about coming, it's her first visit to NC. ~Screechhhhhhhhh~ Is she excited to see Phatbaby or excited about coming to NC? Phathubby is looking at me with question marks in his eyes. She sounded like she was "here and normal", remember she is bipolar so sometimes her converation can be a bit confusing. Read here:

Bipolar disorder
Definition
Bipolar disorder is characterized by periods of excitability (mania) alternating with periods of depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very abrupt.

Alternative Names

Manic depression; Bipolar affective disorder

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Bipolar disorder affects men and women equally and usually appears between the ages of 15 and 25. The exact cause is unknown, but it occurs more often in relatives of people with bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder results from disturbances in the areas of the brain that regulate mood. During manic periods, a person with bipolar disorder may be overly impulsive and energetic, with an exaggerated sense of self. The depressed phase brings overwhelming feelings of anxiety, low self-worth, and suicidal thoughts.
There are two primary types of bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder I have had at least one fully manic episode with periods of major depression. In the past, bipolar disorder I was called manic depression.
People with bipolar disorder II seldom experience full-fledged mania. Instead they experience periods of hypomania (elevated levels of energy and impulsiveness that are not as extreme as the symptoms of mania). These hypomanic periods alternate with episodes of major depression.
A mild form of bipolar disorder called cyclothymia involves periods of hypomania and mild depression, with less-severe mood swings. People with bipolar disorder II or cyclothymia may be misdiagnosed as having depression alone.
Read More >

Please read more if you'd like, but that was enough for me. I had read about it before but still. The conversation continued with her randomness and so I asked her...Why I don't know., just curious I guess.

"BM, when Phatbaby gets older what would you like for him to call you?"

She says..."Momma."

Any advice would be welcomed...

Phatty's Phunny of the Day

What kind of Elephant ?

The five-year old students are learning to read.
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"

The teacher took a deep breath, then asked...

"What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"
And so it does...

" A f r i c a n Elephant "
Hooked on phonics!

I Love It...

I loooooove being a mommy. I am a proud phatmom. I think that mommyhood has changed me. Of course it changes everyone, but still I think it has really helped me focus on what is really important when it comes to phatbaby. I had all of these ideas of what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. I wanted to use cloth diapers. ~Where is my buzzer??~ ***BUZZ*** That didn't happen. LOL I don't know. Those disposables, I just want to go ahead and apologize for my actions in the landfill. ~Lawd forgive me~ I now know that there was no way that I would be able to use cloth diapers while having to wash clothes at the laundry mat and going there every 2x's ever 3 weeks. I just couldn't do it. But ya'll, I am so in love. He is getting so big so fast. I need to walk around with my video camera in one hand and my digital camera in the other. I am so camera happy. Ok, I could go on and on about his little dimples, little toes, his unlimited kisses also known as shugah...man...but anywho...I think I told ya'll that I love to read, write, and some other things. Right now I have started to focus on becoming debt free (thanks to Single ma @ http://fabulousfinancials.com and to Dimps @ http://dimples44r.blogspot.com) For putting it on my mind. Reading your blogs helped me to realize that what I need to be doing. It's 2008, why do I still have stuff on my credit from 1974? Well, maybe not that long, but long enough to know that I need to correct it now and get my credit score up. If anyone has any advice, websites, or anything that I can use to do that please share. You know sharing is caring. But before I let you go I just hafta show you this....I do it all for him.....

My Dream Man

Remember when you were younger ladies ~ahem~ and some gentleman...when you fantasized about how you wanted your dream boyfriend and/or husband. Boy...I just knew I was gonna have the man with the most swagger and foine as heck. So foine I would be pregnant every year kind of foine. LOL So yeah..I'm married...Maybe I could sound a little more excited than that...."I's Married Now!" ~Color Purple Style~ I love my husband don't get me wrong. It's just that every now and then I wonder. What in the hell was I thinking. I know I am not the only one...come on now anybody? Hello-o-o-o-o, I see how ya'll do. Well I just wish that sometimes I can catch him looking like this....

That would really, really make my day. You know sometimes when we get ready to go to church or go to a CLASSY night on the town, I would like for him to do a lil of this........

Meet me in the bedroom looking like this...

Do me like a thug would do me......

You know, something... take the time to workout.. make himself look good and fit ya'll know what I mean like this.....

I mean you know what we say...we want him to look at us as if he could make us all melt...

Can I just get a

during the day and a

at night and on some weekends. Dayum, that's all a sistah needs....oh yeah he needs to be able to cook like..........

you know...some of those things would be reallllllllllll lovely...don't you agree?

PS. He can also be able to sing like Lil G-Silk, Charlie Wilson-Enuff Said, Be able to tell a few jokes to keep me laffin, and be a great help. Drive a nice car...paid for...780 credit score, and just be loveable and clean. LOL

Working for nothing....

I am so tired ya'll. I feel like I am working for nothing. Just come to work. Put my time in and go home. Everyday! I must let everyone know that I am ready for a change. I work in the customer service field and I am tired of it. I have been working in customer service since I was 19yrs old. I have worked for all of the big name companies doing customer service. IBM, BCBS, ZC Sterling...I mean I could go on..Bellsouth....I am so tired of saying.."Thank you for calling __________, how may I help you?" I don't know what in the world to do. I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Management and I have NEVER had a management position. I am ready people. ....LOL I also speak fluent french.. Oui, C'est Vrai! I feel like I have so much to offer and so many ideas. I know that I could work in a call center environment in a management position. NO team lead stuff...management. What can I do so that my resume shows that and not that I have just been on the phone the whole time? ~sigh~ I need for someone to give me a chance to showcase my skills. I get paid and it disappears. I know that we all know that we are not getting paid what we are worth. I don't even make 40k per year. I wanna be debt free. Look at Single ma at www.fabulousfinancials.com......I strive to be where she is. I want to be debt free but how can I work on that when I am paying bills from paycheck to paycheck? I just signed up with www.myfico.com, opened an INGdirect savings account and today I am calling a debt collector to see what I can do to get the balance down quick so I can raise my credit score. Any advice anyone? I am really at the end of my rope here....~OK I can breathe now.~ LOL

It is too soon...

For the birth mom to be coming for a visit. I just don't know about it. I have all of these jitters. I speak to the G-Ma from time to time. Send a few pics here and there. But all of that is fixnta--yep that's what I said--stop. I know that this is an open adoption, but how open is too much? I saw 20/20 the other night and this young lady was searching a couple to adopt her baby. She did and now she comes over when she gets ready and is in ALL of their family pics. Even her family goes over to the adoptive child's family to see him. Ain't no way. I think I would have had a written agreement drawn up or something. I just couldn't imagine her showing up all of the time. It would really start to aggravate me. I really do appreciate her and what she has done for me and Phatman....but she really needs to back up and give us some space. I guess it is just nerves, but I love him and I am so protective of him already, that I just couldn't imagine something happening to him because of her or them. I don't have time for all of that. They should be here on the 4Th of July. Talk about INDEPENDENCE.....~Geesh~

kid steals grandma's car

I Wish A Child I Knew Would......

I posted this video for a reason. What would you do if it were your child? I don't even have to say it. Let's just say I might have been the one being carried away in handcuffs. Listen to the way he is speaking. Do you think that the parent/s have been using discipline on this child on a regular? Let me know....

May 20th, 2008-The Day My Life Changed Forever

To Cloth Diaper or not to Cloth Diaper?

Okay, after being back at work today I feel more energized. Probably because I was getting off 45 minutes early. LOL But anyhoo..I have been toying around with the idea of using cloth diapers because of my brother-in-law and his wife. It had nothing to do with the landfill. Glad to be helping out, but that won't it. These two...bless their hearts...have 5 children and one on the way. The have 1 that is still in diapers, one that is training and another that was just trained last year. (They are 8,5,4,3,2, and1) they just seem so fertile...~ahem~ But whenever they come to visit and they are sitting around having a good time one of the little ones will ~do they bizness~ and need to be changed. The two dummies, I mean in-laws will start with the..."Where are the pampers?" " I thought you had em'." I have decided that I don't want to be like them. I mentioned it to my Phat man and he seems okay with them. My Phat mom went on and on about when she used cloth diapers and how she had to dunk them in the toilet. Ewww is right...but they have come a long way. Let me know what you think.

They even have flushable liners so there will be NO MORE DUNKING...! Ha @ Phat mom.

They are cute though... I like this one:

Awww, the lil duckie-wuckies...LOL.

http://nickisdiapers.com/

http://www.diaperpin.com/home.asp

Easy Like Sunday Morning......

I swear I feel like I am the laziest person on earth today! I think I did too much housework on yesterday. I washed 200 loads of clothes.....for two people. I'm exaggerating but can you say five baskets! Plus it was at the laundry mat....I hate going to the laundry mat...can I get an AMEN?? Came back home put all of our clothes away...(mostly Phat man...and he always says that he has nothing to wear...he always has the most clothes to wash!) Entertained my other Phatsis-in-law2 and her crew (4 boys and 1 girl and she is married to Phat man's brother) they were all here. Holl-erd at chil-ren, popped a youngin' here and there...ooooo'ed and ahhhhhh'ed over baby clothes......seperated the clothes into the now 5 empty baskets for my mother to wash. (She does not want me to wash them at the laundry mat, she wants to do them herself...I wish she woulda did mine too...lol that's a Phatgramma for ya). Went to the store got groceries...phatsis2 cooked spaghetti for everyone and did not leave until after 1am...OMG...my neck and my back...and I'm not even talking about Khia....whew...more like I need to go to the Spa....~eyes glazing over at the thought~. I am so tired...ouch....well, I guess I will continue to sit here in my pajama's, listen to the rain outside, snack on everything, and sleep in between reading blogs...~YAWN~

Abortion-Question of the day..

Why is it that someone can lay down, have sex (consensual), conceive and say things like....

"I could never carry my baby to full term and give it away." But they can run to the nearest clinic and kill it? Can someone help me understand this please. I have seen this too many times and it makes me so mad. I feel like if you can do all of the above then why not either: A: Keep it, B: Give it away to someone in the family that can't have children, C: Put it up for adoption, or D: Ask for help. I am so sick of seeing this as being a easy way out for two grown folks to handle their business. I feel like abortion should be illegal. YES I AM PRO-LIFE!!!!!!!!! (Can't you tell?) I feel that the termination of a pregnancy should only be used from a medical standpoint. Extreme deformities and if the child is already deceased inside the womb. Other than that individuals that are raped..give it up for adoption or keep it. That child is a part of you too. You never know who you might be aborting. The next President, The one that may have the Cure for Cancer, Aids...we will never know because of a generation being sucked away. What do you think?

http://www.priestsforlife.org/images/index.htm#galleries

Catching Up

So this is what has been going on. If I want a some "Blog Groupies" I guess I need to be here more. ~Ahem~ But this is what has been going on in my world of adopting. I had been speaking with the Grandmother off and on now for the last 3wks. Lemme tell ya.."Grandma ain't raising no more kids". She has told me that repeatedly. On May 5th..the day came for me to talk to the Birth mom. I was so nervous. Oh yeah..this is an open adoption, permanent guardianship type of arrangement. I will hafta go back and tell you how all of this came about. But when I spoke to the birth mom the conversation went like this...
BM: Hello?
Phatgurl: Hello.
BM: How are you doing?
Phatgurl: Fine and you?
BM: Fine.
~Pregnant Pause~ --Sorry for the pun..but for real it was really quiet.
Phatgurl: I heard you had some ice cream today. (I know right...)
BM: Gurl I had pizza and ice cream. It was good too.
Phatgurl: I just told Phat Man that I wanted some ice cream..what kind did you have?
BM: Butter Pecan...my back is hurting now...I will be glad when this is over.
Phatgurl: Well you don't have too much longer.
BM: ~Burst into tears and got off the phone~
Phatgurl: ~Tears welling up in my eyes trying to figure out how I stuck my foot in my mouth~
Grandma: She'll be alright, she has been having these crazy mood swings.
No sooner than she says that BM, gets back on the phone and says....
BM: So do you and your phat man have any children?
Phatgurl: No, we don't have any kids. We have been trying for a long time and we have been unable to do so.
While this conversation is going on...Grandma, my Phat sis-n-law, and Phatman are all on the line with BM.
BM: Well, this is your baby I'm carrying...
~I almost died~
Phatgurl: Ok
Grandma: BM, y'all need to talk about names
BM: What about Quintarvious?
Phatgurl: Ummm
Grandma: Hell, no.. we do not want him to be stereotyped....we want him to have a chance without being judged by his name.
Phatsis-in-law: That's right.
Phatman: Hmm hmph
BM: Ok what about DMX? ~proceeds to bark in the phone~
Phatgurl: Laffin nervously and looking at Phat man while he's snigglin and gigglin...~rollin my eyes
Grandma: What name have ya'll chosen?
Phat man: Jon Madden--(I don't think so.. I have got to do something with that X-BOX)
Phatgurl: Julian Bryce...
~Everyone except Phatman~ Awwwww I like that that's cute!
Phatgurl: smiling to myself..I know it is...
Can y'all believe Phatgurllove is fixnta be somebodies momma...now where is that control to the x-box..I will give y'all part two later. Its too much to put into one conversation...LOL

We're Adopting!

Surprise! We are adopting. We were approached sometime in April. Spoke with the BM and we are doing a permanent guardianship! (same thing-) I am so excited! My husband and I both. Looks like that TEST was positive afterall. Thank you Jesus! It's a boy: Julian Bryce Keshon McClain is on the way! Due June 3rd. Look out for pics soon!

P.S. The baby in the above pics is not ours but he or she is a cutey isn't it!?

Not This Time---NEGATIVE

Well, that's about it for this post. We will be trying again for May. I did start my cycle 3 days early so, I don't know what that was all about but maybe next month.

Cherish -

Song of the Day: ~Unappreciated ~Cherish

Yesterday was my hunny's birthday. He turned 31. Yes! I was excited because I had planned a romantic evening for us. He is right there with me in age that is. There is an 11 mth and 1 day difference b/t us. I'm older. May 23rd. Mark that on your calendars people! But anyway, I took him out to dinner for his birthday. We went to The Cheesecake factory. I was trying to surprise him and I had been there b4 but he hadn't. So, when we got there we had valet parking and we went in but he kept asking questions like where are we going when we leave here? Are we going shopping?

You giving me some money?

I get to by something?

I did want 3 cd's.

Let me back up..

Last year I took him to the mall and told him that he did not have a limit and he could get what he wanted at my expense.

So this year he was expecting the same thing.

That upset me a little. I know that I have spoiled him but damn. I tried to perk it up and he saw the look on my face and he was like ~Babe it ain't even like that. Why you looking like that? Thank you for bringing me here, I'm sorry~ Shouldn't he have said that in the first place?

Phatty's Phunny for The Day

I love my parents. Phatmama is 66 and Phatdaddy is 68. The still like to get their party on. Drink a lil bit, and just have a good time. Well, last night Phatmama called me to tell me that Phatdaddy was hurting. It turned out to be his leg. Phatmama said:

"I think their is some cream around here that you can put on your leg."
"I don't know where that cream is."
"I know where it is." Phatmama says.
"So, I went in there and got it and your Phatdaddy went and got a towel to put under his leg. I started rubbing your daddy's leg and I kept waiting for the smell, you know, that smell, anticeptic smell...it never happened. The cream was stiff and thick. I kept rubbing and rubbing. I thought this cream must be old. I went to look at the tube and instead of it saying Bengay or Bio-flex---- it said anti-itch cream.
~Senior Moment~ #1 (It has been more of them, but just for bloggin's sake)

Do any of you have your own senior moments? Do you have one from your parents! Please share. Sharing is caring.

A Woman's Strength

A woman has strengths that amaze me... She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens She holds happiness, love & opinions She smiles when she feels like screaming She sings when she feels like crying She cries when she's happy, and laughs when shes afraid, and her love is unconditional. There's only one thing wrong with her, she forgets what she‘s worth!

Written by Anonymous

Self-Love

I have always had a complex..I guess if you call it that. I have an issue with being accepted by others. I know, I know.."I don't give a damn or fuck about what people say about me."That's what others say, but you know what, I do. It is still have bad feelings towards people that used to tease me as a child and that talked about me behind my back. Shouldn't I be over that now as an adult? I was bullied and teased because of my weight. You know being a Phatgurl has never been easy. I still let these things bother me. The worst culprit of it all that hurt the most was and still is (sometimes) my mother. She has never liked the fact that I was overweight. My other sisters I have 2, were petite until, well one is still little as hell but the other gained weight after she had her children. But to her, I didn't have an excuse. I just loved to eat. When I was a little girl I was so skinny that my momma made me eat. I used to cry because I was such a picky eater. Well over the years I gained weight but not to the extent of being overweight...until I had my tonsils and adenoids (sp-is that right?) removed. Then the weight just piled on. I became the punchline to many jokes and I really had issues with my self esteem. I stayed to myself and read books and get on the computer and type in programs. (Commodore 64--whew that was a long time ago) But I also participated in church alot. The choir, I ushered you know typical church stuff. I love to sing and I have a pretty good voice if I must say so myself, but some of this teasing occurred in the church as well. I know "Kids will be kids." Cut the crap...Kids will be whoever their parents raise them to be or whatever they see their parents do and get away with, that's what they will do. It all starts at home people.-~My Phatabulous Service Announcement-~But anyhow, I have lost so many friends and my mother never told me I was beautiful until I got older but it still comes with conditions. "You look good..you should put more of this on" "That color looks good but that ain't for everybody" Oh can't forget this one. "You should wear that all the time it really looks good on you." Phat: "Really Ma, Thank you" Her: "Yeah, cause you look small in that." See what I mean ya'll? My mother has thrown fits in stores because I could not wear the size that she wanted me too. She would find a phone--(payphone then) call my sister and have her take of the task of taking me shopping cause she just couldn't "deal with me." Needless to say, I find myself shopping sometimes and thinking.."what would mom think of me in this?" I have to stop myself and say: Hey I'm grown, I can wear what I want (you know what I mean) . Has this happened to you? Has someone ever caused you to look at yourself differently?

1/2 On A Baby

Ok, so hubby and I have decided to start trying for a little one. Hence the gap between postings. ~Wink-wink~ I am excited to say so in the least. I hope that it works. We are using an ovulation predictor kit to determine what days we should try and conceive on. Just a little history here folks. Hubby and I have been married for 1 year and 4mths. We dated for 13 years and we have NO CHILDREN. No slip ups or nothing. Just pure bliss...no birth control, nothing. Maybe in the beginning if you know what I mean but nothing. It has surprised everyone. So now we are being harassed by Great Aunts, Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law (she has 5 already), My mother, friends, relatives and just EVERYBODY. So I'm harassing hubby...lol. It took him a long time bless his heart. I know he doesn't wanna share but sorry..he has to! We are excited though. It's also exciting to know that he is wanting a little one now. I was so surprised that he announced to his family this weekend after being bombarded with questions about when we were "gonna have one." He stated " We are working on that now, so hopefully we will have one in the near future." That shocked me ya'll. That is the FIRST time that I have heard him tell anyone that WE were trying for a baby. I love him. Pray for me ya'll. I will let ya'll know what happens!

Phat and a Beauty Queen....

NubianGraphics.com
Later this year, Chloe Marshall and her wobbly bits - of which there are a few, she cheerfully admits - will stand in line with an army of potential beauty queens in bikinis, high heels and tiaras, and invite public scrutiny.
She is a good size 16, and possesses the sort of physique that my old PE teacher, harridan that she was, used to applaud as "splendid for the shot putt".
Chloe is quite beautiful, with a wide smile and luminous skin, but not traditional Miss England material.
Predictably, though, most of her competitors are. I ask her what sort of girls she will be up against and she waves an elegantly manicured hand. Beanpoles, you know, size 8s, maybe a few 10s, tall, blonde. That sort of thing."
Frankly, I feel a bit faint just thinking about what awaits her. It's the sort of scenario that would have most of us, of whatever size, running shrieking from the room.
But then Chloe, at 5ft 10in and 38DD, is not most of us, and perhaps we should thank God for that.
I try hard, shame on me, to get her to admit to some deep-seated loathing about her body - but she simply won't do it.
Instead she comes out with lines like "I love my body", which I always thought no real women ever said, unless they were auditioning for a Dove advert.
She will admit to only a few tiny jitters, mostly about that hideous bikini/swimsuit/sarong dilemma.
"Next month we have a day where we have to meet the Press," she says, talking me through the excruciating Miss England selection process.
"We have to stand round in bikinis and whatnot, talking to them. I'm opting to wear a swimsuit for that one, because I'm all about dressing to flatter my figure. And if I wore a bikini I wouldn't do that.
"But when it comes to the actual pageant, I am going to wear a bikini.
"I don't want to walk out there and have people say, 'she's not confident about her body,' because I am."
However, with both swimsuit and bikini, she will wear a sarong. Because, even though she is a wannabe beauty queen, she's not daft.
"If I was on the beach, say, I'd run around in a bikini on its own, no problem. What's to be ashamed of? ""But at the end of the day, I want to win. So I have to do all I can to give myself the best chance. So a sarong it will be!"
When Chloe secured her place in the Miss England final last week, by being crowned Miss Surrey, it sparked something of a media furore.
You might imagine that we wouldn't be shocked to learn anything about wannabe Miss Whatevers these days.
Over the years, scandal has stalked beauty pageants. Beauty queens have turned out to be single mothers, porn stars, even men, for goodness sake.
But this was something else.
Not that Chloe uses the F word. In our interview the word "fat" never passes her lips.
"It's because I'm not," she explains. "I'm curvy, big, plus-size, if you must, but I don't like that either because I'm actually an average size.
"Fat means someone who is obese, who doesn't take care of themselves, who never does any exercise and lies around all day, being a slob. I take care of myself.
"The only thing that is different about me is that I refuse to starve myself to turn my body into something it was never meant to be."
In truth, she's annoyed that the media coverage has not been all positive.
"Most people have been lovely, saying, 'You go, girl', but some people have been sniping about how it isn't a good thing that I'm in this competition.
"That makes me very cross. The whole thing about me being here is that I want to show other teenagers, younger than me, that it's OK to be a bit curvy, because you can still be beautiful.
"If they read people slagging me off, they'll think it isn't OK, that to look like the girls in the magazines they have to starve themselves. "All I was wanting to do, by entering this pageant in the first place, was to send a message out to young girls that it is fine not to be a size zero."

Here is my 2 cents. Why is it that because someone is out of the norm that they can't be considered to be a beauty queen. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Why is it that this continues to be the same issue over and over and over again. Get over it people. There are beautiful Phat people in the world and for all I know you may be one of them. Look in the mirror first and if you think of yourself to be any less than a Phat beauty queen or king then you need to re-examine yourself.

Monday “Mentally Hip Hop Smoothed Out On the R&B Tip With a Pop Feel Appeal To It”

The weekend is over. Had a great start and a good ending. Let's see....Saturday night hubby and I went out to the Keith Sweat concert. We had a ball. Just between us..I used to have the biggest crush on Ricky Bell, you know BBD...well they were there along with Dru Hill (pray for them) and Special (surprise) Guest Silk.. The Freak Em crew. Well it was fun to see BBD perform ~That gurl is poison~ I know ya'll are singing it in your heads now and who can forget...~lemme lick you up and down til you say stop~ and ~I want ah~ I screamed and yelled and bobbed and danced. It was a fun time for hunny and I. Sunday was a lazy day we just slept in and later on went out to eat dinner with the outlaws. The food was good the company was ok. Today at work they fired 2 people. Oh well, it's Monday. Have a good one ya'll.

Friday's Funnies

Not too long ago I was hanging out at the in-laws just relaxin..(before they became the outlaws...new day different post) and I left out and went to the bathroom. I came back and my niece 3yrs and nephew 4yrs were stand there and I smirked and looked that them. The conversation went a little like this....

PhatGurlLove: Have you been in Aunt Phatty's Lipstick?
BAN#1 (Bad Ass Nephew 1) Noooo, I no have your stick.

I grab my camera and I say..smile

BAN#1: Cheese! ~Flash~

BAN#2 (Same thing but ends in Niece..lol)

~Same question, same answer~ The pictures tell the real story.....

**Any new "stick" recommendations for shopping purposes?**

Thursday's Thoughts........

Just some random thoughts....

1. For all you parents out there...were your children planned or were they unexpected. If they were not expected, how did you know you were ready? How did your spouse react/bf/gf...etc?

2. If there were no methods to assist in helping conceive, would you have children earlier or none at all?

3. Why do people always beg and borrow, but never have anything to share?

4. Soulja Boy...Yahhhh???? WTF?

5. When can WE all just get along??

Happy Thursday.....

Wednesday Worries

This morning while sleepin...in between hunny's snoring, I hear rushing water. I open my eyes and strain the hear....again in between hunny's snoring, I hear it this time...clear as a bell, water is running. I'm laying there thinking...did hubby leave the water running in the bathroom? Fine tuning my eardrum I think..no definently kitchen. I sigh and proceed to leave hunny there...still snorin' might I add, to go turn off the water in the kitchen. Sleep walking my way up the hallway, turning on the light mumbling...~wth was he doin at the kitchen sink, I know he wasn't washing dishes~ ( He had already did that...lol) Turning on the kitchen light I see that the water isn't running in the sink but it is definently pouring out from somewhere. Standing at the kitchen sink I feel my feet start to get wet and think I think..aww hell naw'll! I open the cabinets under the sink and ~Presto~ there is the spouting water leak! Can everyone say Yay??!! By this time I am awake and fully conscious of the whole situation. I take off runnin, well briskly walking down the hall calling hunny's name..~Bay-Bay~..he is mumblin...~huh?? hmmm? I'm like you don't hear that?? To me it sounded like a small Niagra Falls...he is still like no, I don't hear anything...mind you the water is coming out of the bottom of the cabinet like Ye Old Faithful. I quickly told him what was going on and he went in the kitchen and proceeded to do everything that I had already told him that I had done. Side note***Why is it that men check behind us when will tell them that we have did things that normally they would do in any crisis situation, ie. try to turn off the faucets that are attached to the piping....check to see if it is leaking from where I said it was and repeat exactly what I said..I mean duh..*** Anyway I tell him I'ma call the landlord. I did and he did not have an emergency number for tenants...wft?? I called my dad...fyi, it was 3:52am. I called him and told him what was going on and he says ok I'm on my way. My hunny and I are outside the house and we can hear the water draining outside...just gurglin. I am livid by this point that at 4am instead of counting sheep..in between hunny's snorin...I am outside looking for the main shut off valve. We are both walking round and round looking for it while mumblin curses under our breath. So Dad pulls up and I apologize for having to call him and he states that it is close to the time that he gets up anyway...(wtf?) He proceed to go under the house looking for the shut off valve while I hold the flashlight from a distance me ~echo~ You see it? Him.. no ~echo~ I have arachnaphobia but that is a whole 'nother post. It just goes on and on...needless to say we go across the parking lot to his mothers house who has a live in nurse, she calls his brother (the landlord/slumlord--the same) he comes over, checks it out finds the shut off valve and we shoot the breeze a min or two and he is gone. Dad leaves....we go back to bed only for the alarm to go off at 5:25a. Isn't that great! I have to be at work at 8am//so no I was not a happy camper. What has a man done to check to see if you had done everything right?

RAIN

RAIN

Everytime it rains, I'm reminded of you. The sky gray filled with unshed tears waiting to be released. The swollen clouds reminding me of my swollen tear ducts. Damp pillow case, wet tear stained face, lined with pain. Heartaches, beat slowly. Time going by fast. Stuck in time. Crying like the sky. The rain dropping hard and steady. Continuosly. Puddles forming holding memories in deep mud ridden puddles. Slowly evaporating leaving memory imprints behind. Cracked mud. Traces that something was left behind..or someone. A stain. Pain perhaps. The rain just ain't the same anymore. It rained the night your soul left. A hole in the place where my soul, heart, and thoughts used to be. Memories ever fading until the rain comes. Ever consuming, looming, trying to be happy and remember the goodtimes until it rains. It's raining now. Outside and inside too. I think I see a break in the clouds it must be you letting me know that the sun still has to show in order fot the light to be seen in the rain. I will use an umbrella now so I won't drown in the pain rain.
To my brother
Steven Lamont Garrett
June 28, 1962-April 1st 2002
I love you and we miss you.

Women's Empowerment Weekend

This weekend was a great weekend. Riding smoothly of course on the new wheels. Saturday we had the Annual Womens Empowerment weekend. If you are not familiar with it, it occurs in the last Saturday of march in Raleigh NC. They have guest speakers and national recording artist, vendors showcasing their talents and it is all for the empowerment of women. This year was my first time going. I have to be honest at first..I was not that excited. Even with Patti Labelle being the guest speaker...the recording artist were completely turing me off. By me being a music fan I felt like If Patti was gonna be the speaker...then I just knew that the Artists were going to be off tha chain. Well, Jeff Majors..don't get me wrong..I love his songs...you know with the **cough** harp and all**cough** but he just did not appeal to me more so than the R&B persuasion..until I heard at the last minute that TANK was going to be one of the artist performing. I know you heard me..yes TANK. I have to capitalize his name because it seems like he's not getting that much love lately. I did miss him while he was away. But let me go back a little. I enjoyed Patti...she made me cry..made me laugh..and boy let me tell you if you have never heard Pattil Labelle sang in person....it is a treat. I swear that woman...Lawd halmurcy...hmph. She sanged you hear me??!! She had the nerve to sang "The Lord's Prayer." Whew....amazing....just amazing that's all I can say. I was in awe of her voice. Where she came frome and how well she continued to live. I think that as I get older, I understand the importance of living after a loss. I lost my brother April 1st (I know...April Fool's Day) 2002 and I still grieve. That is the first loss that I have ever experience in close relation to myself. It was like a part of me died. Patti lost 4 sisters to cancer all in 40 year old range and then her mother. I was like "Wow, and she still sung?" It made me realize that even sometimes when we lose a loved one and our hearts are breaking....we can still raise our voices to sing. To let others know that we are still here and that we are still living. That's what I think about it all. I enjoyed her alot and learned somethings from her as well. As far as TANK. I would love to go to a concert where it is just him perfoming live. He give a great performance as well. He is a fine specimen of a Man I tell ya! Lyfe Jennings also performed..he came on after TANK. I think he should have came on before but that's just my opinion. Day 26--Diddy's puppets from Making The Band 4, Cherish ~Lean Wit It Rock Wit It--are we done yet?~, Georgia Mass Choir, Beverly Crawford, and Tiffany Evans (Diary of a Mad Black Woman) were all great perfomances. I must say I will be attending next year. We decided at the last minute to go and had the ~I think that's Patti Tickets~ so of course when we are on the 3rd floor and the row before the last row on the wall towards the ceiling you would think.."Ok, at least I'm here, and I made it....Let's get Empowered.." NO, that is not the case....The seats were so small and so tight...I did tell you that I am P.H.A.T. I felt all circulation from my legs cease...My sister and I looked at each other like wtf?? Those seats were unbearable. In the mist of this pain in my hips I begin to wonder if they intentionally made those seats that way so that you will remember and buy the next level tickets. We moved down to the 2nd level while shopping with the vendors. WE are a talented group of people. I met Vickie Stringer, yes Triple Crown Publications...I also purchased a book from her and received her autograph. She asked me if I was a writer and I said yes. She asked me to go on open mike and recite...my mind went completely blank ya'll. OMG!!! I was so embarassed. She said "That's okay." I told her "I'm not ready for that yet.." But I am...I am so ready. But anyhoo I will have my chance again soon. By the way...the seats on the 2nd floor were so much more comfortable...it was amazing to know what more money will get you. LOL Have a Happy Monday!

New Wheels

Ok ya'll, I am so excited. Glad it is Friday. T.GI.F. and also I just wanted to let my peeps know...I'm so excited. WE got us a new ride! Yes thank ya Jesus! We weren't expectin to get it we just showed up (and God/Jesus/Yaweh/Alla--and all of them) showed out. We traded in our Saturn...it was startin to have some issues and got a 2004 Ford Explorer. Ok to some of ya'll that ain't nuthin, but when you have been wanting one FOREVER. I mean every since they came out way back in '71, I have been-hate to say it-lusting after this vehicle...and maybe 2 otha's but this has always been on the list. Can ya'll say leather interior?? LOL We drove off the lot like we were in a 2010 Mercedes. You woulda thought we won the lotto. (Hopefully we will this weekend.) But it feels good when ya feel like you movin on up-cue the song- Have you driven a Ford Lately! If any of you have a Ford Explorer..let me know whacha think..

Crusin---Smokey,

Phatgurllove

HUMP DAY

I am so glad today is Wednesday, I don't know what in the world to do. It's almost over everyone hang on. I love working at this C.S.S. but it ain't all a girl thinks about. I did go to college and get a degree. I have always wanted to own my own daycare though. This journalist...(yeah you could say that) has wanted to have a daycare every since I studied abroad in France. Shot out to all my Frenchies on here. I stayed in Montpelier. Look it up. Beautiful, right on the Mediterranean. Ooo I wish I was there now. Fresh Baguettes..not the supermarket kind either...hmph good stuff. But anyhoo..I don't have any kids off my own. I would like some one day. But back to Wednesday. 2 more days until the weekend baby. What do ya'll think of Hilla-bomber and her lies and her going back tryna dish dirt on Baracka-baby?? She lied....all day long she lied. She misspoke..? What kind of ish is that? I wish I could lie about something and say I misspoke and kept it movin'. It shouldn't work like that. What do ya'll think..they shoulda kicked her to the curb or what? Let me know. Happy Hump Day ya'll!

22/24

22/24
Does this look familiar? 22/24? If not then this may not be for you. These two sizes have been following me forever it seems like. I have been up and down b/t these two mf'ers for the last, I wanna say 10 years. I have tried everything from Slim Fast, Hydroxycut, Shape rite, The Bohemian Diet, Herbal Tea, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Walking, Eating Right. I have lost b/t 20-25 pounds about 2,000 times just to gain it all back. Chips are my weakness. Chips and chocolate. Why lawd? My momma says I get it from my dad's side. I don't care who I get it from..who in the hell can I give it too and who wants it? I'm not saying that I don't love me. I do. I really do but just carrying this around for all these year ain't gone (ebonically speaking) cut it. I have lost 13 pds on this new journey I'm on to make a permanent lifestyle change. You know during all these years, including my childhood I've had weight issues. I have so many stories to share with you while I try to figure out how to let some of this stuff go. But n-e-way, I know all of us have weight issues whether it is trying to gain weight, lose weight, or even maintain our current weight. What is the most craziest thing you have done to lose weight?

STAY

Stay

why should i stay?
when i wanna go.
you act like you don't love me anymore.
do unto others ain't that the golden rule?
do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
you don't listen to me.
do you even hear?
you act like you are blind, when i shed a tear.
i realize you don't want what i want.
opposites attract, it aint true.
i thought you wanted to be with me.
and i wanted to be with you.
i don't understand how you could fool me so easily.
telling me lies i surely believed.
like "yes i want a family, a girl for you and a boy for me"
that was just MY fantasy.
i promised i would give you my all.
even though we started small.
we both worked hard because we wanted more.
is it that you were unsure?
you held my past against me.
while i tried to forget.
haven't i said "i'm sorry" enough yet?
i'm starting to have regrets.
when i said "i do".
it meant i was ready for commitment
thirty five hundred dollars was well spent.
on something borrowed and something blue.
i thought i was doing the right thing.
together forever.
for better for worse no matter the weather.
i'm done playing house and letting you have your way.
i am leaving .
i cannot stay.
i cannot allow you to treat me this way.
i deserve the best and that is true.
i thought i was getting it .
when i married you.
but you lied and i cried it's over now.
it's the end of the play.
take your bow.
i am walking out the door.
not sure of what the future holds.
but i know that i cannot stay here.
anymore.

copyright 2008/pdg