Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Renewal

Waking from a deep sleep feeling deprived not from the lack of sleep but from you. Your voice penetrating my thoughts as I remember why I loved you from the jump. Not realizing that I would now be reminiscing on what we had in the beginning and how now I want to relive that moment again. From the time we said hello, to the first time we held hands, to the first kiss. I want that now and again. A mutual agreement between us that was only seen by God and a multitude of individuals who not only believed in the blessed union, but they believed in us. What happened? Did we stop believing in each other, did we become entangled in finances, too engaged with our child, too focused on work, and not enough time to spend with each other? Loving and being loved. What happened? Falling in and out of love....just out....Coldness on the left side of the bed where you heart cried thinking of how I needed you to be with me...just around me....

I'm thinking the same thing he doesn't know it...our minds intertwined as one...the way it should be forever joined. Not because we have a son, because we were meant to be...even apart we share one heart... our own, meant to be in one home....feeling alone...needing, craving, remembering. Was it that bad enough to leave? Tears on my sleeve... the right side of my bed cold, where he used to snore, where we made love don't live here anymore or does it? Wasn't it I that said I don't need it? Wasn't him that said forget it? I can't I remember, in December I saw you with another lover, not your mother, cousin, sister or friend. Some chick named Lynn. Unfaithful, debatable but true...You used me and I used you. I miss you now, my heart still in sync with yours. I'm on my way over we need to talk.

Getting up picking up my keys after praying, having that mental release, I pray for an answer. Opening the door there she stood....I prayed and God made it good. We were both misunderstood, we talked for hours about where we should be and how it was not her but me and how I was relieved to see her hear and I was glad to have her near and that I missed her. She leaned into me and said she missed me too, we even had time to send our son off to school so that we can be alone in our home to become one something we shoulda done before. We made love galore and we were restored.